ARE YOU READY?!?

THE SON OF MADBLOOD: THE RETURN!

.. like it or not..

The real question though, kids, is: are WE ready? It's just been sooooo long - so long since we've "regaled" you with our brand of (blatantly bad) "Entertainment" - so long since we've dipped into our bag of tricks - so long since we've dipped into anything! Yes - it's been YEARS since we've dusted off this ol' dog-and-pony show - even the jokes are mustier than usual.. not to mention these old bones of ours.. did I mention these old bones of ours, my memory isn't quite what it used to be.. BUT: throw you an old bone we will! And even some new bones! Because - at The Son Of Madblood we don't just aim to pelt you with bones - we aim to PLEASE! Granted - our aim is often off - way off - but PLEASE - let us please you! SO - ARE YOU READY???  

THE SON OF MADBLOOD is ready to rumble! Just listen to our stomachs grumble! We are hungry to hurl our fetid feeble fun upon you! Can you stomach it??

.. THE SON OF MADBLOOD is getting ready to deliver!

We're still trying to work some of the kinks out - not that we're opposed to kinks - or even The Kinks - but it has been a while so our kinks need some work.. but the hi-jinks are in the works! And we're busy workin' on wrangling a movie that will fit the festivities fabulously..

Up for consideration:

A classic of lost-parent paranoia.. PHANTASM!

..just an all-time fun-fave!

Senior Citizens vs money-grubbing developers.. HOMEBODIES!

.. tame but timely!

A werewolf in a retirement community.. LATE PHASES!

.. thematically potent! 

Which will it be? Tune in to THE SON OF MADBLOOD - 11pm - Sunday Sept 2nd - KGB (aka Madblood Manorette) - and see! And feel free to "vote" for the one you'd most like us to show - that red square on the side-bar there! We may even listen.. if we can get our hearing-aids working again!

Post Labor Post Partum Post

The Son of Madblood DELIVERS!

Take a DEEP BREATH, kids - this could be painful! Just reeeelaaaxxx.. It'll be over before you know it!

Yes - your prayers have not been in vain.. Something is stirring in the Ether.. Something you've been waiting a lifetime for.. Or - at least a couple of years...

In just a few more days - THIS SUNDAY - SEPTEMBER 9th - it'll be time once again to raise your glasses and toast old friends. And Ooooollldd friends.. Time, again, to sit back and watch Mysteries unfold, Chaos take shape and "Entertainment" die a slow and limping Death.. Yes, kids - it's time, once again for The Return of The Son of Madblood!

Cheers, big ears! Ooops.. make that "Cheers, no ears!

It's been a while, we know - but we're dusting off the seats (actually - some steam cleaning was necessary - we have been alone here for so very long) and loading up on treats to bring you another of those inimitable nights you'll never forget.. No matter how hard you try! And we know you try...

Right this way... To FUN!

Yes - we're hard at work here at Madblood Manorette - getting things ready for YOU - so we'll keep this, at least, short.. Because - as anyone who's ever ventured into this adventure known as The Son of Madblood knows - a night spent at the Madblood Manorette is one loooong night.. OF FUN!

You don't find fun like this just laying around!

So join The Son of Madblood and his usual Gang of miscreants as they once again regale you with their ponderous puns and preposterous verbosity.. Jaws will drop, heads will be scratched, punch will be drunk and The MadRaffle will be won! By you, perhaps? You won't know unless you come - do you DARE? Dare! Be there! This Sunday! September 9th! 8pm! Madblood Manorette and all it's minions welcome you: 15 Park Row - Apt 16P - Manhattan! Ground Zero for Good Times!

The script is in the works as we speak! This one's gonna be a tearjerker, kids!

(This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by The "Friends" of The Son of Madblood.. Stay tuned for more MadBlogs from your regularly scheduled programming)

NEWS FLASH! ADDENDUM! END-ADD-UM!

The Post-Post-Passover-Post-Post

Yes - we're back in a flash, kids! A Hot Flash - given our advancing age... It seems - in our advancing age - we left some treats out of our Previous Post... And treats have we got for you: an all-new Tinnitus Treats, that is. Yes, over there on the side - in the SIDEBAR you will find for your listening pleasure and in honor of our forthcoming "Family Horror" Episode: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 - Original Soundtrack! Yes, it's a blast from the past - but a blast, nonetheless. And what better way to celebrate our big, upcoming "Family Horror" Episode than by celebrating our favorite Horror Family? So gather Gramps and all the siblings 'round the table for a hunk of hot, meaty music from the likes of Roky Erickson, The Cramps, Timbuk 3, The Lords of the New Church and (our favorite cut) Stewart Copeland and Stan Ridgeway's 'Strange Things Happen'! It's our gift to YOU... Just like that Fry House we built for ya all those years ago...

the house McMadblood built...

And - speaking of blasts from the past - we've one more log to throw on the fire for the "What Do YOU Want To See On The Next Episode?" voting poll: an old time "Family Horror" favorite of ours - Alice, Sweet Alice!

"click" to compare....

You can call it Alice, Sweet Alice; or you can call it Communion; or you can call it Holy Terror - it's all the same movie! Whatever you call it - WE call it SCARY! We also call it Brooke Shields' scariest movie. Even scarier than Brenda Starr! Well - maybe not as scary as any given episode of Lipstick Jungle...

this may be scary...

But this is scarier!

Just don't get too scared to get your vote in! On the Sidebar there on the side - under the Tinnitus Treats you so should love... Because we, at The Son of Madblood, care...

Challah, Ya'll!

Challah In The Family?

Well, kids - it looks like we here at Madblood Manorette have, yet again, suffered through another bout of Passover.. And by that we mean to say: yet another month has Passed Over without nary a new Episode of The Son of Madblood! We do apologize. Apologize, we do. Things have been a little on edge around here at Madblood Manorette - causing us to go MIA of late. You see, Passover ran a little loooong and late for us over here, this year - all because that Igor goy stole the Afikoman and demanded we sit through the entire DVD series of Lipstick Jungle as his "reward" for returning it. And Passover ain't over til you get that Afikoman back.... And Passover ain't over til you've heard this:

the end has a real pay-off, believe me.. and believe Breaking Down Mechitzas!

Luckily - the entire run of Lipstick Jungle only lasted a scant two seasons and Igor returned the Afikomen none the worse for wear. This despite the fact that he wore it his underwear the whole time. Afikomen returned - we all ate of it heartily - washing it down with one last glass of Manischewitz. So, now that we've got that High-Holiday under our belts and the back-up of Matzo out of our "system" - now that we've done our "business" - it's time to get back to the bidness of the bidness that is The Son of Madblood...

The Son of Madblood gets down to business...

That's right, kids - the April Golden Showers of the past are about to spring forth with some new May Flowers - and, what do May Flowers bring? Hay fever? Perhaps... But - what else can cause the watering eyes and discomfort that accompanies said Hay Fever? That's right - it's the fever for more of The Son of Madblood! So - get your hankies out.. because another Episode is in the works! The time is ripe, once again... and so are the jokes... Ripe.. Ripe and ready... Ready for ACTION! Are you ready for action? Get ready for some action - The Son of Madblood's got action... Action for you..

now that's what we call: ACTION! come 'an git some....

And what should you, our faithful fan(s), hope to expect for the next thrilling(ish) Episode? Besides "not much"? Let's just say that The Son of Madblood has learned a lot over these past months... He's learned that he's got a lot of questions that have been nagging at his already addled mind. Nagging at him in a way that Brain could only hope to one day nag. Raised in an Orphanage - growing up - as he did - an Orphan all his life - with all the questions that beset such an Orphan; The Son of Madblood, an Orphan, only knows that which every Orphan knows: that he knows nothing of what non-Orphans would know as "family". So - journey along with this lost man - this Orphan of the ages - as he seeks to discover, plumbs the depths to uncover - his roots..and, hopefully, doesn't kill the tree in so doing... Sounds absolutely thrilling(ish) - does it not? Well, ok - fine.. To make it even MORE thrilling(ish) - we have, for YOU, the famous(ish) "What Do YOU Want To See On The Next Episode?" viewers choice poll where YOU can thrill to one of these:

click 'em to see 'em real good! If YOU dare....

What will it be? YOU decide! These are but suggestions brought to you through the toil and sweat of the Gang at Madblood Manorette and their late-night-up-all-nights toiling and sweating to find YOU only the choicest of choices. Just go to the sidebar (on the SIDE there) under the Tinnitis Treats (brought to you with love and toil and sweat from the Gang at Madblood Manorette) and take your pick of the pick of the litter! No refuse here: Director Donald Cammell's mind-bending Julie Christie sci-fi/horror show of unplanned Motherhood, Demon Seed; Troma's traumatically torturous celebration of Mother's Day; Wes Craven's seminal cannibal bacchanale, The Hills Have Eyes; Tobe Hooper's hopped-up-horrific carnivale, The Funhouse; or, his outta-the-gate and straight for your throat home-is-where-the-heart-is ripped out and eaten by a family of freaks only a (dead) Mother could love, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. So - get over to that sidebar on the side and vote for the "family horror" that YOU Want To See On The Next Episode! Or, if making a decision isn't your forte - vote for more than one! It's allowed... Because we care. For YOU. And - if NONE of these is to your liking - send us a "family horror" choice of your own via the comments feature at the bottom of this post - just knock on the door, anytime. Because we do care. For YOU. Because, at The Son of Madblood, we are all Family... Whether YOU like it or not...

The family that plays together...plays together...?

And if there's one thing The Son of Madblood knows about "family" - it's that they can count on each other, rely on each others help and input, be there for each other... And, if the scant two votes we got for the last "What Do YOU Want To See On The Next Episode" poll is any indication - The Son of Madblood has got himself one very small family. So, please - join us... Join us! We won't ask you for money - we won't ask for your soul - we won't even ask you to take out the trash! All we ask is that you bare with us - or bare with us, if so inclined - until the next Episode of The Son of Madblood finally hits "the boards" at Madblood Manorette. It'll be a Celebration, we promise you that. It'll be just like having Chametz before Passover has finally ended. Take it from the guys in Kol Ish:

Take that to your mouth...

And take your mouth to the next Episode of The Son of Madblood! We are Chametz! Or, is it: We are Chametz? We beg to differ that there is no difference...

Oy Vey!

Can you believe it? It's almost PURIM!

What does that mean to The Son of Madblood, you ask? Just listen:


And The Son of Madblood still doesn't have a costume! Lucky for him - help is around the corner....

Shtick, however - is the ONE thing The Son of Madblood has plenty of...

The other ONE thing The Son of Madblood has plenty of is: CHOICES. Well... choices for What To Watch On The Next Episode, at least. Yes - The Son of Madblood can pick his friends (and still have none), he can pick his nose (he does plenty of that - which is probably why he hasn't any friends) - but he can't pick his friends' noses because he hasn't got any. Friends, that is... So, c'mon - be a friend to The Son of Madblood and help us pick: What To Watch On The Next Episode! No noses need be picked in the process. It is as easy as picking your own nose, however. Just ask The Son of Madblood.. Wait - that's why The Son of Madblood is asking YOU - because it wasn't as easy as picking his nose! Oh nooooooose.....

Take yer pick... outta my nose!

For you - we make it easy... As easy as 1, 2, 3... 4, 5....6..? For you - we give choices... For you.. For Purim. Our gift to you... It's our Mitzvah... And it's right there in the side-bar under the Tinnitus Treats - The Son of Madblood's: What Do YOU Want To See On The Next Episode? Poll... Choose away... Or send us a comment with a choice of your own - we're open-minded! We're open-minded 24/7 (minus 1 hour per day for cleaning - and from sundown Fridays to Saturday nights when we aren't allowed to turn our minds on unless we can get a shabbos goy to do it for us)...


click your clicker on theses for some worth-framin' kicks...

These are the round one choices and they're all pretty choice: John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness (aka John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness), HG Lewis' The Wizard of Gore (in honor of the recent showing of The Godfather of Gore documentary), Lucio Fulci's City of the Living Dead (aka The Gates of Hell - not to be confused with the entrance to Madblood Manorette), John Carpenter's The Fog (ok - so we've rolled out the red carpe(n)t-er...) and Fred Walton's (?) 1979 When A Stranger Calls (in honor of.... telephone calls!) In case you think this list is a little loaded towards a particular director - just remember: Jesus was a Carpenter... Oh - if I had a hammer... But - if you have trouble deciding - vote more than once! It's the American Way! And if you have trouble deciding on your Purim costume - get some tips from The Nicest Guy The Son of Madblood Knows - The Nicest Guy knows best because he's also The Bestest!

The Nicest Guy's Bestest Purim costume... heeb - I mean heed - his advice!

Depending on how the voting goes and what we happen to see or not see in the meantime - there just may be a round 2 of What Do YOU Want To See On The Next Episode? before The Son Of Madblood Purim Special - coming soon! (This Episode has not yet been rated - or scheduled - but WILL happen towards the end of THIS MONTH! After all - it is the month of The Son of Madblood March Madness...)

Tomorrow Is TODAY!

Forget The Past - The Son of Madblood Brings Presents!

for you.. with love from The Son of Madblood...

Yes, kids - this time The Son of Madblood is not late to the party. Did I say "party"? I meant "par-tay"... Or did I mean "butter"? No - this par-tay is better than butter! And it's happening TODAY. Unless today is not Friday March 11th. Because today - Friday March 11th (hopefully, for your sake, still today) is the day that - here in the town The Son of Madblood calls hell - I mean home - Anthology Film Archives is screening the new documentary: Herschell Gordon Lewis: The Godfather of Gore at 7pm. That, in itself, isn't so much of a party - considering it is playing a whopping 3 days (no offense meant to The Son of Madblood's Italian-American friends) along with such HGL greats as Blood Feast, Something Weird and Scum of the Earth. But what makes today's showing - Friday March 11th at 7pm - is that director Frank Henenlotter and the Drive-In demon of the Double-D's - Joe Bob Briggs - will both be in attendance! Heroes in da house! Needless to say - I've gotta make this Madblog post a short one so Igor and I can take our portable hammocks and some ham-hocks over to Anthology and camp out for tickets...

You willlll go... you willlll.... Ishtar wills you!

But not before I, the Son of Madblood, bring a little something to the par-tay for you to enjoy (besides my ham-hocks - Igor's busy enjoying those) - an all-new Tinnitus Treats chosen especially for this party-riffic occasion: The Eye Popping Sounds of Herschell Gordon Lewis! Yes, kids - it's a party for you... with love from The Son of Madblood... It's all here: all the tragic kettledrums of Blood Feast - remember - they warned you; all the Yeeeeeee-Ha!'s of 2000 Maniacs! - you'll hear how Robert E. Lee broke his musket on his knee and that the South's gonna rise again... You get all the wife-swapping sounds of Suburban Roulette - but don't worry, baby - I'll love your sister tomorrow night... And you'd better Get Off The Road for those She-Devils on Wheels - bug off or you'll find that you have blown your mind! And the party really kicks in as they'll huff and they'll puff then they'll blow your house up - Just For The Hell Of It - it's Destruction! You're better off dead... if you don't click on the cover of this Tinnitus Treats gift from The Son of Madblood and get your party started. Just be sure to bring that party over to Anthology Film Archives at 7pm tonight - Friday March 11th and show HGL, Frank and Joe Bob how much you care... The Son of Madblood will be there - in a raincoat... No, really - it's a stormy night to be hammocking it with a hunch-back...

these and a hunch-back in your hammock would keep anyone warm..

And stay tuned, kids - for the next edition of The Son of Madblood "What Do You Want To See On The Next Show?" poll... The choices are really piling up over here at the Manorette... The Son of Madblood has piles! Of choices for you, that is.... Coming up for The Son of Madblood March Madness!

We Mean Bid'ness!

And We Got Cards To Prove It!

That's right, kids; we've been hard at work printing these up the old-fashioned way - missionary style - here at the Madblood Manorette. So take a gander - a sneak-peak - at our all-new business-type cards (in 'real life' the type is Blood Red and the card is not pink.. really):

this is the front....


and this is the 'b' side....

You read it right, attentive Madblood fan(s)! The Son of Madblood is getting Out Of The Lab! After all these years - all these long and lonely, lonely years - we've finally gotten up the gumption to venture beyond the comfort-filled confines of the 3 hallowed walls of Madblood Manorette (we broke the 4th wall sometime during our first show)... We're steppin' out! Ok, baby steppin' out, maybe - but out we go, nonetheless: from the stale and, mostly, dead-air echo chamber-of-horrors that we call "home" - to the wondrous, glistening clean (as opposed to the kind of glistening usually found in the Manorette) and non rat-infested playland of Manhattan Neighborhood Network, Studio 2! Live! In Color! And ON TV! And that's real TV.. really. No - really. You see, all these years that we've been telling you we were on TV.. well, we were.. wrong about that. Well, we weren't really wrong - we just.. kinda.. well.. we were lying... Or, let's just say - we thought if we believed - you'd believe.. Ok - it was a con game.. But it's over! No more lies! The truth will be televised! Witness to the truth!

The Son of Madblood on MNN... AMEN!

Oh - don't worry too much, die-hard fans of The Son of Madblood. And you do die-hard if you're still fans... No, we won't be giving up our lie of a life that easily - we'll still continue to pretend to be on pretend TV at the humble Madblood Manorette - bringing you the finest in Horror-Film entertainment and the not-so-finest of our own brand of "Entertainment" - as regularly as we regularly do... Does The Pope shit in the woods? If he's regular he does... And we're as regular around here as the next guy - or the next Pope - and Igor is even more regular than that.. He goes like goin' was goin' out of style! And if you know Igor then you know he's got style to burn.. It's just lucky for the rest of us that he's also got plenty of matches to burn...

Two of Igor's regular "styles": digging for matches in his pocket (l.) and choking the chicken (r.)

That's right, kids - our un-regularly scheduled "show" will go on... and on and on and on and on... If you've ever seen it then you know what I mean... Right here in the same old dilapidated digs where you're all so fond of wondering just what it is you're sitting in that's so sticky... Yes, The Son of Madblood and his Gang will still be up to their old schtick - showing you their favorite Horror Movies and making a mess of the, already non-too-clean, Manorette. Our new and improved actual televised television show - The Son of Madblood: Out of the Lab! - will be flogging a dead horse of a different color... even if that color is still BLOOD RED! We'll be coming to you live from the spacious and well-equipped MNN Studio 2 - straight to your television or streaming web! I said "streaming" not "steaming"! It's a talk show with your Host, The Son of Madblood; his co-host, Brain; and trusty Igor manning the telephone call-in lines! And our new (and improved) in-studio Announcer - Don Pardonemoi! There will be Special Guests to be interviewed, live bands performing in the studio, acts of all persuasions and plenty of our regular Gang dropping by to lend a hand or have one removed. And we'll be talking about Horror Movies instead of showing them... And did we say - live telephone call-ins? There will be those. Please. Somebody's gotta call in. You will, won't you? Somebody's bound to... And that's just part of all the excitement! You won't want to miss it - just as soon as we get it running. And we're getting it running. Stay tuned to this station for more news as it becomes less available... Live, from New York, it's..... The Son of Madblood: Out of the Lab!

Home is where the heart-transplant is....

And now back to our regularly scheduled program.....

Yes, kids - the Seasons change.. But The Son of Madblood stays the same: cold, bitter, arduous, wearing and goes on way too long... If you don't like the weather, stick around a while... And we apologize in advance for the sticky seats - there hasn't been a lot to do around here lately. Yep - it's time once again for The Son of Madblood March Madness! We'll be marching it out to you, for your pleasure, this Month. It is March and that's what we do. Albeit to a different drummer. And what will this March Madness bring? April showers bring May flowers and what does Madblood bring in March? Whatever it is - it'll be golden.

Siwwy Wabbit.. Tricks are for pros...

Shall it be something St. Patrick's-y? Sorry, but the Leprechaun movies have already been voted down. Q: The Winged Serpent and Maniac Cop both involve the St. Patrick's Day Parade... Are there any scary Easter Bunny movies out there? Night of the Lepus doesn't count as scary - although there are plenty of giant rabbits involved. Friend of The Son of Madblood, Benny, sent in his Top 10 Horror Movie List with just one title: Blue Chips. It works for March Madness, maybe - but it don't work for The Son of Madblood. We have standards around here. We also like Jazz Standards. But what will we show? The Gang here at the Manorette has been up til the wee hours watching movies to try to find the right one for our next Big Episode - although Igor spends most of the wee hours in the wee-wee room for some reason... We work hard so that you don't have to and we hardly work so you don't even have to do that. You can rest easy - you can sleep. Most of you sleep through the show, anyway!

The glasses make it easier to sleep...

Stay tuned to this channel for more on The Son of Madblood March Madness to come!