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Monday, November 2, 2009

Too Much is Never Enough...


Yes, kids - we know you’ve been poised on the edge of your seats since the end of our last Episode’s doozy of a CLIFFHANGER! In fact - some of our audience is still here - refusing to leave until they find out WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? Their butts are numb now from being on the edge of their seats for over a week and Igor has had one heck of a long labor - hanging in there and holding “it” in until we could get this next Episode ready to go.. And, The Son of Madblood won’t make you wait a second longer.. just a day or two longer...

Yes - we’re getting the nursery ready - delivery date is scheduled for THIS WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 4th! And we’re inducing no matter how lacking in preparation (or cast members) we may be.. It’s now or never for the Gang at Madblood Manorette - a possibly somewhat thinned-out Manorette Gang, yes - but with a little “addition” that promises to make up for any absentees...

Larry Cohen - Father of some of the cutest darned tykes around...
(well.. except, of course, for The Son of Madblood)

And, as promised (at least until I, The Son of Madblood, get voted down or clubbed) we’ll finally be showing the ultimate Father’s Day shockomedy - Larry Cohen’s It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive:

Prizes! Punch! Popcorn! Postpartum Paranoia! Parents in Peril! The Son of Madblood has it ALL!

All Summer in Fire Island - things get ROUGH!

Don’t miss it - next time we open these creaky Manorette doors it could be NEXT YEAR!

Goodnight, gang - and thanks for turning us on...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

We're Back and Outta the Sack!

Just when you thought Sunday nights were safe again - just when you thought it was time to relax - yes - just when you thought your life was your own -The Son of Madblood returns! With a vengeance. With a purpose and a plan. And with more fun than you can shake a stick at... You kids have had your break - you’ve had your Summer fun. Now - it’s OUR turn - to TURN YOU ON! That’s right - we’ve been gone far too long and we’re readier than than a randy orangutan to swing into the jungle of television-type “entertainment”! That’s right, all you lucky “fans” - The Son of Madblood gang is back with it’s first historic two-part Episode to start off this Fall season - en francaise: “saison”..You heard me: back-to-back(ish) Episodes of “ecstasy”! No more waiting MONTHS to find out what we’ve been up to here at the Manorette - with the first Episode of the double whammy scheduled for THIS SUNDAY - OCTOBER 25! And we know you’ve been waiting..and waiting..and waiting... and - what? You weren’t waiting?

(The "eyes" have it - The Son of Madblood is BACK!)

It has taken us quite a while to recuperate from our last foray into the unknown - that ill-conceived adventure into the Third Dimension to Camp Crystal Meth. Our bodies - wracked with pain indescribable (the Transducer that catapulted us into the Third Dimension being hell on anybody over.. ah-hem.. 35). Our minds - fried like rice.. or - flied rike lice, as they say.. But- we delivered as promised: The Son of Madblood was IN Yo FACE, DOG! It was drama at it’s most real as we practically came to life in heart-stopping 3-D..

(Roughing it at Camp Crystal Meth)

However, to NOT deliver on a promise: the previous post’s promise of an upcoming It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive has since fallen fallow. The high-minded plans for that special Father’s Day Episode proved too emotionally draining for this Fatherless Foundling - The Mother’s Day Episode was enough torture for one season! Give a lonely soul a break, will ya! But - don’t cry, kiddies - all broken promises will soon be forgotten - will melt away like ice on Satan’s nipples - once you’ve seen the mind-twisting inscrutability, the pulse-pounding horror, the brow-furrowing weirdness that is Phantasm! Yes, you lucky duckies - we are going to freak you out with one of our very own all-time favorites - a film that lives in a world of it’s own and in our hearts. There is nothing like Phantasm (except, maybe - Phantasm II - The Ball Is Back, Phantasm III - Lord of the Dead, or - Phantasm IV - Obl(IV)ion - but this, the first, is, as the French say: première). Consider it our treat to you this Halloween season..

So - get ready to fall in love all over again... The Son of Madblood has your heart in mind (for my next experiment!)..

(The Never Dead? Whatever you call it - don't call it late for dinner!)

And...maybe if you’re good - you just may get It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive NEXT WEEK! What, you say? Already another? Astounding, no? Two weeks in a row? Unheard of in these parts! But, that’s right, all you Doubting Donnas, all you Skeptical Steves, all you Waiting Willies and Frightened Friedas - this week’s Episode is a CLIFFHANGER! So - hold onto your seats and put up your feets - we’re diggin’ in. The Son of Madblood gives the people what they want! If what they want is us, that is...

(Just look at how much the people want us!)

Be sure not to miss this week’s show - or you’ll never understand next week’s! And, don’t miss next week’s show - or you’ll never know “the truth” about this week's! Or - heck - skip ‘em both if you’re some kind of loser and like it that way.. BOOOOOY!

(You'd better come - or we'll send The Tall Man after you!)

Thursday, May 7, 2009

May Mad-Ness Is Up-On Us!


The first Episode of our hotter-than-the-weather-we've-been-having Spring Season was a hit! Standing Room Only as opposed to the usual Single Room Occupancy we're used to around Madblood Manorette.. With Episode 2 ahead (Sunday - May 10th!) we hope to keep the (disco) ball rolling...

Lasers! Lights! Ludicrous Sound Systems! Fog! Dancing and Disco Punch! It's all part of this Episode's Murder Rock Sock-Hop! So bring your dancing shoes. And bring your Moms (it's that Special Day, after all) - go ahead - rub it in.. no matter that I, The Son of Madblood, was raised an orphan... and that most of my cast will be away - visiting with their own dearest ones.. a pleasure I shall never know... No matter - we're gonna DISCO!

(Disco'd to DEATH!)

To get back to our last Episode for a moment - and to further revel in it's astounding success: we had left the choice to you - dear fans - as to which Texas Chain Saw Massacre we'd show (although - actually - only the first one was "Chain Saw" - all subsequent films were the one-word "Chainsaw" - go figure!). The race was neck to neck.. with the 50-1 odds Mine That Bird pulling out in front by 8 lengths... No, wait... that was The Kentucky Derby... Our race was won - fairly surely - by Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 - a fitting tribute to the man we were honoring that evening - Lou Perryman - who, as radio-station assistant, L.G. - steals the show and has his skin stolen to boot! We built him a little fry-house:

In deference to the suggestions of a couple of South By Southwest big-wigs that we try the tried and true formatting of a standard Late-Night-Talk-Show - The Son of Madblood became "The Laterest Show with The Son of Madblood" and gave that Fallon schlub a real run for his money - he's "Fallon" behind like Friesan Fire on a sloppy track (again, for you Derby fans).. Fallon flails for sloppy seconds!

(Minnie is the premier guest on the short-lived "The Laterest Show")

Alas - the format proved to rigid and the majority of guests too unruly for our laid-back, off-the-cuff, willy-nilly temperaments - although Igor and His All Hunch Backing Band really did lay it down... I, however, am still apologizing for that "Opening Monologue"... And my Landlord is still griping about getting bumped from the show when we "ran long"... Which forced me into a promise we'll all surely regret on THIS Episode: I got suckered into giving him a spot as a guest DJ for our Disco Party... You'll have to tune in to witness the horror of it all... If you DARE!

(That ain't no Texas oil!)

And - stay tuned! As laid out in our last Madblood Missive: the 3rd Episode of The Son of Madblood Spring Season is COMIN' AT YA! (Not the movie Comin' At Ya! - for those who remember the 80's attempt to re-kindle the 3D craze - of which the movie we are showing was part of) Yes - Friday the 13th - 3D! Right here at Madblood Manorette! Glasses provided! Duck! It's a machete! Headin straight for YOU! And have we got a few of our own surprises aimed right for your hearts and minds... You will GASP!

(don't be a Dizzy Dean - we've got the glasses!)

AND - continue to stay tuned! Because in June (date TBA) The Son of Madblood celebrates Father's Day (and, alas, the Father I never knew) with the AWESOME-EST Father-Flick you've maybe never seen: It's Alive III: Island of the Alive! Larry Cohen's full-on, full-tilt, full-weird pay-off to his It's Alive tri-fecta.. You'll laugh. You'll scream. You may even cry a bit...

Michael Moriarty! Karen Black! Mutant babies! Don't miss it! Bring your Dads! (Alas - something I could never do...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Son of Madblood: New Spring Season Line-Up OF TERROR!

The Son of Madblood is poised and ready - coiled and eager to POUNCE! Yes - we're springing forward with our all-new line-up of horrific shows.. Wait, no - the shows aren't horrific - they're going to be great.. the movies, however - will chill and tremble you to a pulp!
In like a lion, out like a lamb - they say. But that's not us here at Madblood Manorette - we ALWAYS roar! April showers bring May flowers? At The Son of Madblood - April showers you with EVIL and brings MAY-HEM!
So - stay glued to your sets; riveted to your seats; bound to your barf-bags and clutch your popcorn tight: The Son of Madblood's Spring Season will shake you to your CORE!

Sunday, April 19th: Tobe Hooper's: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
The brutality of this so-called-Spring is a cake-walk compared to the brutality of this Texas-Summer sweat-drenched HORROR! With a capital "H", a capital "O", a capital "RROR"! If you haven't seen this classic - there is no way to prepare yourself for it.. You have been warned. Who will survive? And what will be left of them? (And we're referring to YOU - the audience!)
The Son of Madblood gang starts out the new season with a dedicatory show to the late, larger than life, Austin, TX legend - actor and raconteur Lou Perryman. He may have stolen the show in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 but he also helped get this first one made.. And, yes, we're buildin' him a little fry house...

(We choose NOT to run a trailer here for this one until AFTER the show - this should suffice)

For you followers of The Son of Madblood shows - this one's going to have a few changes to our normal way of running things (into the ground?).. How will it be different, you ask? You'll just have to come and see.. if you DARE!

Sunday, May 10th: Lucio Fulci's: Murderock! (aka: Dancing Death; aka Slashdance! - take your pick)
It's a dance-school of DEATH with spandex, headbands and a Keith Emerson soundtrack as relentless as the hat-pin wielding killer in this infectious Italian horror-giallo.. Just when you thought it was safe to listen to Eighties-disco-pop!

(can you Son of Madblood regulars guess what cast members will be featured in this episode?)

It's The Son of Madblood meets Santa's Party House at Madblood Manorette tonight! Bring your dancin' shoes! DARE to DISCO!

Sunday, May 24th: The Son of Madblood's Special 3D Event! With: Friday the 13th - Part 3 - 3D!

We provide the glasses - you provide the screams! Dare you go camping in the 3rd Dimension with The Son of Madblood gang? There just may be someone - or something - in those woods...
We've been talking about this one for a while - don't DARE miss it!

The Son of Madblood has not forgotten you, Marilyn Chambers. Our thoughts and love are with you..

(Rip Torn, Nicholas Ray, and Marilyn Chambers - HOLY MOLY!)

and Rabid is on the way...

(this film contains, possibly, one of the best outfits EVER)

Stay tuned for MORE Son of Madblood mayhem!

The "Lost" Episode...

Yes - this was the Episode where The Son of Madblood almost lost his show to marauding Revolutionaries! Secessionists in the Laboratory! Anarchy all around! Turncoats! Spies in my soup!
What started as an innocent, amiable Dead-Presidents'-Day Celebration quickly devolved into debauchery on all sides... et tu, Igor? Stabbed in the back by the most trusted of Hunchbacks...
It's hard to fault him, however - the Lab was ripe with the noxiously nefarious emissions emanating from a particular Brain in a bowl claiming Eminent Domain! His blood lust overtook allies and swayed our happy home to frenzy and panic... The result: B.A.R.F. - Brain's Armed Revolutionary Faction.. A coup disguised as a bid for Independence!
In the end:
One Dead President, dead again - Lincoln assassinated! Left dying in The Son of Madblood's arms - loving the Theater till the very End...
A second Dead President, barely escaping with his dignified Death intact as a would-be-assassin's bullet just misses Andrew Jackson's dead heart. His valiant efforts to quell the Revolution did not go unrewarded as...
A third Dead President stepped triumphantly in: the Rough Rider, himself - Teddy Roosevelt! He and his big stick put the miscreants in their place.. The Son of Madblood show was saved!
And all through this turmoil the audience feasted: on Herschell Gordon Lewis's Two Thousand Maniacs and Kentucky Fried Chicken!
All was not lost.... The Son of Madblood goes on!

Yeeeeeeeee Haw!

Y'all come back, now, ya hear? The Son of Madblood returns with an all-new Spring Season Terror-filled lineup!
(and doncha fergit to take a gander at the Son of Madblood Mad-Mall - git sum shoppin done! Then - sit a spell an put yer feet up an enjoy them movin pictures from that there first season of shows..)